To vow or not to vow?
"I,___, take thee,___, to be my lawful wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth."
It is the desire of most ladies to one day find the love of their life- together with him, the two will blissfully make this commitment in front of the altar with family members, friends and well wishers in attendance.
In recent times, the rate at which young couples tie the knot is becoming more overwhelming and alarming by the week, yet it’s a wonder why divorce statistics is always on the increase.
Observably, there seem to be a trend that is taking the minds of some of our women away from the subject of marriage. For the sake of this write up, let’s call them the “career women.” Even in their late forties and fifties, some of them have decided to enjoy single life rather than settle down with a man. The reasons for this change appear to trace back to the rationale behind the increasing divorce cases in the country.
A few interviews and discussions on some social media platforms have revealed that the career woman doesn't seem to give a hoot about settling down with a partner who will end up making her life a miserable one. Most of them will tell you “marriage is not compulsory and I will marry whenever I decide to do so. I have everything so why will I allow someone to come into my life and make it a living hell when I can live happily being single?” Well, I wonder what happened to the biblical stance on marriage.
On one social network, a status read “marriage is like a public toilet; those inside it want to get out whiles those outside just can’t wait to get inside”. So you see; if we are to tone with this phenomenon then I am sure we will certainly have to find reasons why some ladies are in a haste to wear the white gown and be titled ‘Mrs.’ when others also feel reluctant about the whole issue.
My recent findings at the Cocoa Affairs court recently disclosed a shocking revelation which I personally found it hard to believe. I thought our men of God have had too much bashing from the public already and this may seem like the last straw that may break the camel’s back.
“Nowadays the women complain that their pastors play a role in choosing the right spouses for them. They prophesy to them about revelations of so called God sent men who have been specially ordained for them by God and it’s either they marry them or face the consequences of being in a marriage that God himself has not put together.”
So now the long and short of the number one reason according to a divorce lawyer I spoke to is that most of the young ladies who troop into the court to file for divorce claim they have been misled by their men of God to marry men they can’t live with.
“They believe these men of God so much that when such revelations come up they tend to heed to their advice even to the extent of even breaking up with their current partners to get married to these God sent husbands. However, few years or even months into the marriage, they realize that the two of them cannot live together as husband and wife and the real problem actually starts when the man begins to show signs of neglect, mistrust, indifference, cheating and lies” he added.
In fact, I have had talks with guys who have shared the same sentiment with me. Some of them say they sometimes wonder if the so called “my pastor says we cannot marry” is a new line that some ladies have resorted to breaking up. Some of these ladies even end up ditching these guys to marry the pastors themselves to become “Osofo Maame.”
Another divorce lawyer also said “The women complain that their men are cheats and irresponsible. Prior to the marriage, they exhibit all sort of niceties but months into the marriage they realize the attitude is no longer the same.” These according to the ladies were some of the reasons ladies give to divorce their husbands.
However, the men, who seldom come to file for the divorce, had this to say “Women of today are too materialistic. They want everything done for them and always want to live the life of the rich and famous. They never appreciate what we men do for them and at the end they end up running to the court to file for divorce because they want to hop to the next available victim.”
Honestly, when it comes to matters like these, you and I cannot make a clear judgment on what goes on in one’s marriage life. We cannot really tell who is right and who is at fault because there may be so many reasons why two people may feel incompatible- thus, resorting to divorce as the quickest way of solving marriage disputes in the 21st century.
Meanwhile, revelations from so called single ladies is making the issue look as if they are living with the fear of having to deal with all these uncertainties once they also decide to get married. It is however not a must that every marriage will fail and result in a divorce but it seems the bitter experiences shared far outnumber the “happily ever after” tales we were once told.
Even some counselors will tell you “there is no smooth road in the journey of marriage and once you are into it, you need to prepare yourself for whatever obstacle that may come your way.” Indeed, we are conscious of this advice but honestly, will you be comfortable living in an unhappy marriage because society feels marriage is a requirement or you’d rather stay single being happily ever after?
Well, the question still remains- “To vow or not to vow?”
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