Weekend Headlines
This is where I bring you stories that made the headlines in
the Weekend Finder newspaper every Saturday. Join me as we get interactive on the various issues. Enjoy!
Marriage: women now footing bills
In most parts of the world,
tradition demands that a man be responsible for making marriage arrangements
for his wife. It is an accepted norm that the groom should be fully prepared to
foot the bills and provide all requirements for his bride; the dowry/bride
price especially must be paid by the groom himself.
However, this custom doesn’t seem
to be prevalent in all cultures of the world. In some parts of India for
instance, women are supposed to marry the men and pay the dowry as well.
In India, the groom often demands a
dowry consisting of a large sum of money, farm animals, furniture, and
electronics. Though prohibited by law in 1961, this system is more rigid
in the northern Hindi-speaking region consisting of Bihar, Uttar Pradesh,
Rajasthan, and Haryana states.
The extraction of dowry from the
bride's family prior to marriage still occurs. When the dowry amount is not
considered sufficient or is not forthcoming, the bride is often harassed,
abused and even burnt to ashes.
In Ghana in recent times, an
increasing number of women (bride) are said to be paying the bride price for
their own marriages. It has become common that some men who are not able to pay
the dowry for their wives fall on the women to rescue them.
In most instances, the bride
groom is not ready financially whiles the woman is also said to be concerned
about aging. The bride therefore takes up the responsibility of the bride groom
providing not only the bride price, but also taking responsibility about the
wedding.
The weekend Finder has gathered
from a survey that this practice has become common in the Ghanaian society. The
survey revealed that women who are anxious to marry often provide the finances
to enable their husbands pay the bride price and other related marriage
expenses.
Freda, a 33 year old banker says
“My job keeps me so busy and I hardly find the time for anyone. Keeping a
relationship has been a headache considering my tight schedule.
“However I recently met this guy
whom I fell so much in love with. He’s my
dream man and I really want us to settle down but he’s not financially sound
and not prepared for marriage yet.
“We are both in our 30’s and for
a woman I understand that age is fast catching up with me so I have decided to
foot the bill so that we can live together as husband and wife. It’s no big deal.
Once we understand and love each other I think we can work things out and I may
even help him. Who knows?”
On her part, Serwaa, a business
woman who has been married for 2 years stated “I married my husband when he had
nothing. I did everything literally and we got married. It may be against
custom but as you know times are fast changing and usually people do what pleases
them. If I can be of help to someone I am going to spend my entire life with,
then why should I hesitate?”
However, some people have
contrasting views. According to them, the phenomenon may lead to problems later
in the marriage.
Afua says, “I don’t think I will
foot my own marriage bills even if I can. What do you expect the man to think
of me? Definitely he will know I was too desperate for marriage and he may
decide to treat me anyhow he wants” she says.
While some guys have lauded the
idea of women shouldering the responsibility of paying the bride price and
other marriage obligations, others think it will be totally wrong and
unacceptable for a man to allow a woman to do such a thing.
According to Asiedu “there is no
way I will allow my fiancée to pay for her own marriage. Its either she waits
till I am able to do it or she finds another alternative if she thinks I am
delaying her time.”
Kobby adds “how do you expect her
to respect you if she was the one who did everything? Where is the man in you
if you can’t perform that once-in-a-life-time ceremony for the one you love?”
The issue of women paying for their
own marriage arrangements has attracted mixed feelings. It is important that a
study is carried into this phenomenon which is fast becoming an acceptable
development in the Ghanaian culture.
Men, would you allow your fiancée to foot the marriage expenses if you can't afford it? Ladies, what do you think?
Please use #marriage to leave your comments in the comment box below. Comments will be very much appreciated.
Men, would you allow your fiancée to foot the marriage expenses if you can't afford it? Ladies, what do you think?
Please use #marriage to leave your comments in the comment box below. Comments will be very much appreciated.
Witchcraft: Myth or Reality?
By Farida Shaibu 7/7/13
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| Some alleged witches of Gambaga |
In Ghana today, it is estimated that over 1000 women are being camped as witches in the six witch camps across the country, mostly in the north.
These camps are
settlements where women who are suspected of being witches can
flee for safety, usually in order to avoid being lynched by
neighbours.
The idea of the existence
of witchcraft is one that has attracted diverse opinions. Some people argue
that the phenomenon is nothing but a fallacy, as too much belief is placed on
superstitions.
Others also say lack of
education and religious knowledge is the reason for believing that such
spiritual beings do exist. However, many acknowledge the existence of
witchcraft.
Recent findings have
revealed that most people (usually children) are often prevented from going to
their villages for fear of being harmed by evil powers. This has been confirmed
by a number of individuals, both home and abroad.
In an interview with Hawa,
a koko seller in Accra, she vowed never to take any of her children to their
hometown. She explains that her experience with evil forces eight years ago
justifies her claim that indeed witches do exist.
Hawa narrates: “I was with
my second child when I attended a funeral in the village. Yakubu and his other
siblings had been to Togo on many occasions to visit the old folks. My family
and I are based in Accra but we often hear wild stories about witches and
wizards of our village, but we hardly pay any attention to it.
“As a very religious Muslim,
I find it hard to believe that people could actually fly on brooms and walk on
spider webs as we were being told. Anytime I go to the village I tease the
folks about their lack of knowledge and belief in superstitions. This time I
was made to believe.
“As we sat by the fireside
that night, the village folks kept telling me weird stories about the
operations of witches in the town but I still challenged their notion.
“That night, my son and I
slept in my hut and I remember securing the door firmly. He lay by my side as I
watched him sleep.
“Deep into the night;
around 1:30am I woke up only to realize Yakubu wasn’t with me on the bed. I
quickly rushed to the door to check if he may have gone outside to urinate, but
surprisingly the door was secured as I had left it before going to bed.
“I quickly rushed out into
the dark night in search of my son, but he was nowhere to be found. I was
frightened!
“A few kilometers into the
bushes, I heard the cry of a boy and I knew that was my son’s voice. I quickly
traced the voice and it led me to the village cemetery- a distance away from
our hut; that was where my son stood. I was shocked!”
Hawa says since then she
had resolved never to take any of her children to the village. She reveals that when she
left the village the next day, she had a change of mind about the existence of
witchcraft.
According to her, she has
had enough evidence to believe and as a result none of her children will
actually pay any visit to the village ever. “Who knows what could have happened,”
she adds.
Another lady The
Weekend Finder spoke to also explains how her father had prevented them
from going to their hometown.
Happy is a 23-year-old
graduate from the Volta Region and she says she doesn’t even know the route to
her hometown.
“All I know is that my parents come from the Volta Region. Since
childhood, our father has been telling my siblings and I how dangerous the
place is and so he vowed never to take us there.
"He even admitted that he was
scared to develop the family house because of the circumstances surrounding his
leaving the village.”
Even though Happy wishes
to know her village and learn more from the folks back home, she says she may
be able to do so only when she is fully independent. Meanwhile she has also
come to have the perception that witchcraft is real, according to the advice of
her parents.
Maame Serwaa also shares
her ordeal. Contrary to previous testimonies, Maame Serwaa says her eldest son
has rather been taken away from her to settle in the village.
She says: “Kofi was a
little handsome boy when I took him to his hometown for the first time. Our
little stay in the village attracted all manner of ladies into our home every
day. A lot of women used to cook and bring it to my son.
“Ever since we came back,
the boy has refused to stay home in Accra with me. On many occasions, he runs
back to the village even without my knowledge.
“When I inquired, the townsfolk
told me that my son has been made to eat a special food known as ‘bediankor’.
This is a substance that is mixed with food to attract men to stay in the town
to get married to the women there.”
Many factors may account
for the reasons why some people refuse to pay homage to their people even on
Christmas day. Some spend their whole lives in the city and may not set foot in
their villages for years.
According to the Ministry
of Tourism, every Ghanaian has a responsibility to contribute one way or the other towards the proper array of tourism, in order to
better contribute towards development.
Tourism plays
a very significant role in poverty alleviation through income generation,
employment, and infrastructural development for the local communities.
However, if the people of this country have this perception about their own towns and villages, how do we expect to sell the nation to the rest of the world? Perhaps this is the time to do a bit more education
on this issue.
Be it myth or reality, the public has the right to be educated.
What do you think? Share your views in the comment box please! #witchcraft
Divorce cases UP...Pastors accused!
By Farida Shaibu/29-06-13
The rate of divorce is said to have reached alarming proportions in Ghana with about 40% of marriages collapsing within the first two years.
Data available at the Accra Metropolitan Assembly on customary marriage indicates that a total of 618 marriages were dissolved in 2007 out of 1,511 marriages registered.
Also, 46, out of the 136 registered marriages were dissolved within the same period. The month of February alone saw 49 dissolutions out of 122 registered.
Many factors have been attributed for this worrisome trend. These include infidelity or extra marital activities, peer pressure, emotional and physical abuse, disrespect, lack of humility and the pastor factor.
Infidelity is said to be a major cause of divorce in Ghana. “The women complain that their men are cheats and irresponsible. Prior to the marriage, they exhibit all sort of niceties but months into the marriage they realize their attitudes have changed."
Meanwhile the men also complain that the women are too materialistic. They never appreciate what their husbands do for them and end up running to the courts to file for divorce. These were the observations of a legal practitioner who has handled a number of divorce cases.
“In fact nowadays the women complain that their pastors play a role in choosing the right spouses for them. They prophesize to them about revelations of men sent to them by God. The pastors insist that the women marry these so called husbands ordained for them by God" he stressed.
When this happens, the ladies, irrespective of the number of years they have spent with their current partners are forced to quit and adhere to the pastor’s demand.
A number of ladies have confirmed this in separate interviews. Mary, a 29 year old banker says “I have being in a relationship with a guy for about two years, he has done nothing wrong but I had a warning from three different pastors that he is not my husband and that its either I quit the relationship or live with an unhappy marriage.”
A 30 year old business man who expressed frustrations at the activities of pastors said “I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost three years but she recently came to inform me that her pastor says she should opt out of the relationship. The next time I heard, she was getting married to the same pastor.”
Infidelity or extra marital affair is one major cause of the increase in divorce. The new age, society has got different avenues which enable people to get closely acquainted.
There is increase interaction in the workplace and regular clubs also provide chances of greater interaction with others. It is much easier to make friends and remain in constant touch with them. And also through the use of mobile telephony and internet chatting.
When people engage in greater interaction with outsiders, they spend lesser time with their spouses. This is a major cause of increase in extra marital affairs and this consequently impact upon the rate of divorce.
Another cause of divorce is physical abuse. Pressure from the workplace as well as peer pressure may result in an individual leading a highly stressed out lifestyle. As the stress accumulates, it automatically searches for avenues to let out the steam.
The easiest avenue is one’s spouse. Thus a small argument may turn into a big fight and it may result in applying violent method on the part of the husband or wife. Long term physical abuse can be a major factor in the decision to file for divorce. According to a blogger Abigail.
Abigail says in today’s world, money plays an important role. The status of an individual is increasingly determined by material wealth. A lack of the ability to keep abreast with the peer group in this regard may cause unnecessary and avoidable stress on the marriage of two people.
Even if there is a dearth of money to meet the basic household expenses, there is bound to be a lot of friction between a husband and a wife on this account. Any intolerable increase in finance related troubles could be a cause that leads to divorce.
Incompatible couples may easily divorce than very compatible couples. At times there may be nothing wrong with the marriage itself. It may be that both individuals are truly honest people—yet difference may occur.
Let us not forget that individualism is the hall mark of our age. Thus lack of compatibility amongst the husband and wife is turning out to be an ever-increasing cause for divorce.
2 Feedback:
Something isn't clear about Hawa's narration. I don't know how the security system of hut doors work but it could happen that the boy sneaked out on his own and when he realised he was lost in the bush, started to cry for help. Did she attempt to find out from Yakubu how he got to the cemetery? Not that I am disputing the fact that these things exist in Ghana but I'm struggling to understand why she'd conclude from her narration that witchcraft or wizardry had a hand in this.
In fact when it comes to issues like these everyone has an opinion which is good. But from Hawa's conclusion you realize that her fear was when she found out that the door had been firmly secured as she had left it the night before. When she granted us the interview she had already made up her mind based on her experience. However, for the sake of this write up we decided to collate different views which i believe not everyone will agree. Personally, i cant make any conclusion now because some also believe that anything that has a name actually do exist.
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