Confessions of a 15-year old bride-to-be
I love my hair more than school
This article was first published in the Weekend Finder Newspaper after my investigations. I come from a community where child marriage is gradually becoming a common practice among one of the major tribes in the community.
I was actually having a chat with my 16-year old kid sister when she told me about a girl who will soon become the next bride in town. This girl happen to be classmates with my sister before they both completed Junior High School. I felt the shock and disappointment in her (my sister) voice when she first heard about the news and narrated it to me.
Initially, I took it with a pinch of salt- just like ones I've heard about the numerous girls who have been married to older men and have since given birth to more than two children. But there was something more revealing about this- education, marriage and hair. I had an interview with the bride-to-be and the result is what you are about to read below.
This article will not only tell you why a 15-year old girl would choose her hair over school but it will also give you an insight to some cultural practices among the "Zabarma of Niger" who for some years now have come to settle in various parts of the country.
To them, it is tradition, religion and of course acceptable. Read, comment and share!
Fifteen-year-old Fati (not her real name) is a Junior High School graduate who passed with aggregate nine in this year’s Basic Education Certificate Examination (B.E.C.E).
Having chosen some of the best second cycle schools in the country, Fati is poised to fulfill her dream of becoming a nurse in future. Somehow, this dream may never translate into reality.
Fati lives with her family at Awoshie, a suburb of Accra in the Ablekuma South District. In a few months’ time, she would be married to someone she has not even met before - a man old enough to be her father.
According to Fati, she has seen a lot of girls in her tribe get married at a tender age. Some were not allowed to complete Junior High School but somehow she thought her story would be different.
“I was unaware about getting married now until I heard rumours recently about a supposed suitor who had come to ask for my hand in marriage. I had already chosen some second cycle schools with the hope to continue my education but now it seems there is no option than to succumb to the wishes of my parents and the demands of our tradition,” she told me.
She says among the Zabarma people, who hail from Niger, a woman’s hair is her ultimate glory and even though the girl-child is made to keep her hair for as long as she wants, though she must cover her head, it is uncommon for a girl from that tribe to cut or shave her hair.
"Zabarma girls are also not allowed to add extensions to their hair," she says.
In the case of Fati, she has grown her hair since she was very little and has never shaved it in her entire life.
Fati wishes to be in school but admits that it would be difficult for her to sacrifice her long hair if she had the option of going back to school.
“Yes I want to be in school and I don’t want to get married but I also can’t stand shaving my long hair before going to school. I know this is a basic requirement in every second cycle school and maybe I’m not ready for that sacrifice,” she said.
Fati says she is obsessed with her hair just as most of her colleagues, adding that it is unfortunate that the educational system in Ghana does not allow students to keep their hair and that even if she wanted to go back to school, cutting her hair is too big a sacrifice.
It came out during my investigations that there is a similar case involving a-14-year-old girl who wanted to defy custom and go to school. When she heard of plans to marry her off, she shaved her hair in order to be rejected by her suitor, but her parents postponed the marriage to allow her hair to grow before she was married.
Another victim of child marriage disclosed the ordeal she had gone through.
Halima is now a-24-year-old-woman with four children.
“I got married at age 17. Even though I was still young, my friends and family mocked me that I had stayed so long at home. Most of my age-mates who got married at age 13 now have many children. Normally, we are not allowed to work because our husbands provide for all our needs while we make babies,” she said.
According to her, there is a ritual that a girl should go through once she has a suitor. This forms part of the grooming process to prepare the girl for her marital home.
“There is this concoction called hangandi which the girl must take to gain weight. Usually, it is mixed with mashed kenkey and the bride-to-be is expected to drink it for a couple of days before the marriage rite is performed. Once she starts taking this concoction, she gains weight, increases in size and shape and looks matured,” she disclosed.
Halima says the concoction is given to almost all the girls because most of them before their marriage look very young. A girl is made to take the concoction till she is considered fit for her husband.
The investigations also revealed that over the past few years, child marriages had become rife in the Awoshie community. The inhabitants are of mixed tribes and religions. However about 50 percent of the entire population is made up of the Zabarmas who are Muslims.
Even though most Muslims do not practise child marriage, the phenomenon has been widely viewed as part of the Islamic religion.
Among the Zabarmas, custom demands that a girl-child can be given out for marriage from the tender age of eight. In most cases, the majority of these children become second wives, and are made to serve under the first wife who is older than them.
Some of these ‘wives’ I spoke to claim that the practice is to prevent young girls from being promiscuous and also to protect the pride of the family.
Some also argued that the practice is in accordance with the teachings of the Holy Prophet Mohammed (PBUH) who married a young girl in his life time.
However, a peculiar thing about this type of marriage is that suitors are from the same family as the girl; albeit a distant one.
Some of the members explained it as a way of protecting the wealth of the family from getting into the hands of outsiders.
It is only in rare cases that a man is allowed to marry from a tribe or family other than his own.
The Zabarmas frown on women who divorce their husbands; thus, there is no turning back for these children who fall victims to child marriage.
2 Feedback:
it is unfortunate to have promising young girls exposed to such fate...not only does their development, thereby future suffer, they are at that tender age exposed to all sorts of harm that could inflict their reproductive health...obstetric fistula, birth complications therefore hemorrhaging and others are some of the health hazards these young ones could have affect them. if they are able to survive all these afflictions, then only add up to the masses of unemployed, helpless, needy women we see on the streets forced to beg for a living to support their families...and they tell me the men provide their needs?...its high time the zabarma leaders reviewed their traditions!
Yes this is a sad reality but maybe if the laws on child marriage really works in this country, perhaps we can bring the culprits to book.
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